The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just high enough for therapy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
