Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
