she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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