He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
