I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found puke in my bra..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
