Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
