OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
