HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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