Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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