Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
