Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
