She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
