Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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