from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
