so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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