I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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