Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize