if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
