I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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