he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
