He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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