I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
