U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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