all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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