Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
