you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
