God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
