Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
