All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize