Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
