So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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