She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
