what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
