So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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