You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
