life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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