Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize