I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
