Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize