it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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