covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
