Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
