I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize