Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize