he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
