Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
