I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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