how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have tasted many bathrooms
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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