she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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