I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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