It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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