i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
