Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
