It's Friday. Sex?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
