she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sobbing to NWA
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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