you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
