i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
