The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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