I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
