I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
