I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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