I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize