Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
