I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize