Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
