you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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