i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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