dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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