I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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