I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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