Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
