I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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