Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
